blue city diesel

Candy is a clear marker of generations. I have no clue what kids on TikTok are eating right now, but I can confidently tell you that no one under sixty eats Good & Plenty, and no one under thirty eats Smarties.

Before being relegated to Halloween candy bag filler, Smarties had real currency at elementary schools. Twenty years ago, teachers handed Smarties and Dum Dums out like pain pills to keep us docile and obedient, and we swapped those pressed, colored sugar pucks around the playground like trading cards. Now that ’90s kids are grown up and full of cash, it only makes sense to name a strain of weed after treats from our childhood. But the weed had better live up.

Enough talented growers and extractors have embraced Smarties for me to take it seriously, even if the background is a bit muddy. Most accounts trace Smarties back to Pacific Northwest breeder Kush4breakfast, but a small contingent claims that Smarties resulted from a Cookies and Connected Cannabis Co. collaboration. Both backstories have the same lineage, however, with Blue City Diesel and Girl Scout Cookies bred to create Smarties.

Outside of Blue City Diesel’s light berry flavors, neither of Smarties’ parents would confuse anyone with Runtz or other candy-forward strains. The strain’s name obviously panders to our desire to smoke, drink or eat nostalgia — a friend just spent $30 on shipping Five Alive from Canada last week — and that makes it no different from other cannabis names inspired by bakeries, ice cream parlors or candy shops. There are very enjoyable smells brewing in Smarties sacks, though, and the flavor just might surprise you.

Looks: It can be pebble-shaped and smooth or oblong and gnarled, but Smarties should be dense, with three or four buds usually accounting for several grams. The nugs are typically olive green and heavy on trichomes, and bear the occasional purple spot. There’s nothing unique about Smarties’ appearance, but nothing feeble, either.

Smell: I expected something fruity, sour and sugary. Smarties proved to be much more complex. Dank, funky whiffs of Durban Poison and Kush dominated my first interaction, while subsequent smells showcased sweeter aspects. A day in my jar and a couple of nug pinches displayed a stronger sourness, and those dank, funky notes had transformed into an overripe fruitiness.

Flavor: The smell impressed, yet the flavor surprised. A tart, berry-like flavor clung to the sides of my tongue after each puff, leaving funky hints of…