moose morning show

No, it’s not a skunk this time. It’s not an old femur bone, or old underwear and it’s not bugs. This time, I have uncovered something new in my backyard and it’s a creature that is ruining my lawn!

I recently wrote an article on how I Squared Off With A Skunk in My Backyard and this guy was huge. Latto would probably have written a song about this skunks ‘big energy’.

This time, it’s a groundhog. His name is Willis because I name everything, literally, everything. Willis has been tearing up my backyard ever since we left for vacation to Pennsylvania a couple weeks ago.

He’s a big guy. I don’t know what it is about my yard and big, squishy animals wanting to come a chill. I guess we just put out that, “all are welcome,” sort of vibe.

He’s cute, don’t get me wrong but his appetite is having a negative effect on my green grass and my neighbors flowers.

What disturbs me is that I live in the Ci-burbs. That’s what I call it because it’s not officially the suburbs or the city, it’s in-between. So why are so many little pests attracted to my yard. I spoke to my neighbor and she is not having any difficulties, it’s just us.

I did a little research and found out that groundhogs are attracted to sweet things. According to Den Garden, 

Groundhogs are especially attracted to sweet fruits, such as strawberries, blueberries, cantaloupe, peaches, or corn. They also love lettuce, cucumber, and green beans. Place the bait all the way inside the trap so that the groundhog has to enter the trap fully.

My yard has grass, a trampoline, a kiddie pool with brown water, and some chairs. No sweet fruits or lettuce.

Unless my wife has started a “Garden of Eden” out back, it boggles me as to why he’s here so often.

So now that we know what they want and the fact that I don’t have it, the question is, how do I get ‘rid’ of Willis.

Whelp, I do not condone killing animals, so this will have to be done the hard way.

I will slowly make a repour with Willie. I will spray strawberry juice on me and let him approach me, smelling my sweet essence. I will then train him to become my pet. Eventually the groundhog will sleep in my bed and be best friends with my cat, Benedict.

Or I could set up a no-kill trap. Either way, it’s on.

Challenge “Groundhog Day” accepted. I will let you know what happens.